DiffChi

I am from the "copy cat" that agrees with everyone To flee from confrontation I am from the "traitor" who sits along in the dark, ears covered To hide from the thunder of personal possessions and reckless words being thrown back and forth one floor below me I am from the "nerd" who lies in the dark, clinging to a flashlight and a book To forget the world and it's cruel truths I am from the "scardy cat" who hides in the mountain of blankets and jumps to get to my own bed To avoid the ghosts of my past that creep under my bed I am from the "loner" who listens to loud music in the corner To drown out the criticism and put downs I am fr

Every time I take this pencil to my paper, I hesitate You hate pencils I catch myself picking up a pen Every time I open my mouth, I close it again Doubt, re-evaluate and either shout it louder then I ever would have dared to before Or let my ideas drip back into my mind silently Every time I stroll down any street, I turn Hopping I'll see your face smiling at me again Every time I hear your laugh or see your smile, my heart fails me You re-awaken a deep rooted longing to stretch out and hug you Every time I slip away into dreams, I awake To again find this year real To again find that you longer have a connection with me A year

The persistence of memory dies within my skull The people in each one Fade And slowly sink into the moist, forgetful soil As I age, the usual round fast moving clocks stretch time So it appears short when I look back Even though back when it seemed so long Each year slowly stretches So thin Only pieces are remembered Other parts are so pulled tight that they are clear I forget them Bugs gnaw at the only whole fragments The stage of attention remains empty in the corner All through childhood I stood upon it, with every memory Now it sits neglected in my head As memories fade, my skull feels more like a wasteland Then the pla